I just went to the grocery store for some eggs and bacon. I ended up almost passing out, getting my soul saved, groceries bought for me and my husband rescued me and drove me home. It's enough to make one want to drink.
In a sister blog called Living With A Sarcoma a young woman wrote 10 commandments. I am having trouble with No. 4:
4 - Accept your limitations and adapt to your new life. I learned to say no to many people. I accepted the fact that I could no longer work full time. I learned not to plan more than one thing a day. I learned that I can no longer multitask. I learned to schedule things for the hours I had more energy. I learned to accept that my energy level no longer went hand in hand with my enthusiasm.
I feel strong inside.
I can visualize myself being active down to the tiniest detail.
But I look like a gray haired, flat chested woman bobbing along with a cane.I look weak so I try to remember to keep my head up and smile a lot.
And then I can't make it through a little shopping trip.
While God was telling my rescuer/friend to pray for me, I was asking God why I was now an object of pity too weak to run away from my helpers.
Trying to talk my rescuer/friend out of saving me and buying my groceries probably helped my blood pressure to normalize:) I tried to be graceful about it. She told Charley that God wanted her to buy my groceries.
To help myself not fall into fear of going out, I called a nearby friend to help me get the car from the parking lot at HEB. We went out for Elevation burgers and got the car after the sunset and things started to cool.
The difference between the inside me and the outside me is what is bugging me.
Hopefully as I recover from fatigue I can bring the two closer together. Peggy
I can visualize myself being active down to the tiniest detail.
But I look like a gray haired, flat chested woman bobbing along with a cane.I look weak so I try to remember to keep my head up and smile a lot.
And then I can't make it through a little shopping trip.
While God was telling my rescuer/friend to pray for me, I was asking God why I was now an object of pity too weak to run away from my helpers.
Trying to talk my rescuer/friend out of saving me and buying my groceries probably helped my blood pressure to normalize:) I tried to be graceful about it. She told Charley that God wanted her to buy my groceries.
To help myself not fall into fear of going out, I called a nearby friend to help me get the car from the parking lot at HEB. We went out for Elevation burgers and got the car after the sunset and things started to cool.
The difference between the inside me and the outside me is what is bugging me.
Hopefully as I recover from fatigue I can bring the two closer together. Peggy
OK - I can understand how you feel. Though I think the fact that there is the disparity between the inward and the outer perception is a good thing. That is the "fight" left in you. The rooster is so appropriate. It's when you see your outer reality and let that take over inwardly you begin losing the battle. No one asks you to accept your situation. I think we all spend out entire lives making peace with our physical reality. It's the human condition.
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